A tale of two teams

By Matthew Mohan

QUICK FEET: Martial scored his debut goal against Liverpool at Old Trafford.
PHOTO: Getty Images

The new Barclays Premier League (BPL) season has seen its fair share of thrills and spills but a juxtaposition of Chelsea and Manchester United’s fortunes has taken center stage, in an eventful first eight weeks for the Blues and Red Devils.

Singing the Blues

Chelsea’s implosion has been nothing short of remarkable, even in a season where Radamel Falcao has managed to score.

Problems at the back abound, with Branislav Ivanovic the biggest culprit. Ivanovic has been found wanting on multiple occasions, most notably when Jefferson Montero brutally rearranged the Serb’s intestines in Swansea’s 1-1 draw at Stamford Bridge.

You’d think Luis Suarez’s departure would have put an end to the full-back’s nightmares.

Rather than drop Ivanovic, Jose Mourinho has rewarded him with the club captaincy, relegating skipper John Terry to the bench. Curiously, Terry taking his seat on the sidelines follows team doctor Eva Carneiro’s banishment from the dugout.

Apart from kicking, swearing and tossing his FA Community Shield medal into the stands, the Special One has also endured being separated from his beloved bus.

Everton boss Roberto Martinez bore the brunt of Mourinho’s anger for speaking to the media first ahead of his counterpart, who faced a long journey back to London after their game at Goodison Park.

Whether the bus was parked in the right place is another matter.

One thing that has remained constant, however, is Diego Costa’s propensity for kindness.

The striker, never sent off in the Premier League, extended an arm of friendship to shield Laurent Koscielny from the scorching afternoon sun during Chelsea’s match-up with Arsenal.

Shockingly, Costa was rewarded with the cold shoulder and a subsequent three-match ban for unsporting conduct after an altercation with Gabriel Paulista.

You cannot help but feel sorry for the man.

Martial Law

As startling as Chelsea’s demise has been Manchester United’s rapid emergence.

Louis van Gaal’s men sit prettily at the summit of the BPL table, with Red Devils fans sneering at their Chelsea counterparts, saying that money can’t buy success.

But what money can buy is Anthony Martial, a teenager hailed as the Messiah, Thierry Henry and Sir Bobby Charlton rolled into one.

With two goals in his first two league games, Martial rightfully takes his place among illustrious company, for Louis Saha and Federico Macheda are the only two to have equalled this statistic for the Red Devils in the Premier League era.

Rumour has it that Martial can neither understand nor speak a word of English. This explains his form, given that Van Gaal’s pep talks have little effect.

While Martial may be the toast of Manchester, Wayne Rooney is having a forgettable season.

The Englishman has found the net just once this season, with his woeful campaign thus far summed up during Manchester United’s 1-0 triumph at Aston Villa.

Deep in stoppage time, the forward chased down a loose ball before displaying remarkable vision to pick out supporters in the stand by booting the ball clear.

But who’s to say that the Manchester United skipper is finished? Rooney may prove doubters wrong by going on a Martial or Macheda-esque scoring spree.

After all, this may just be a bald patch.