Frankly, My Dear: To give my all, I burnt my boats

By Karl Lim, News Editor

GRAPHIC: LIM PEI YI

One of the most impactful things that has ever been said to me came from my father in 2010. In his first handwritten letter to me, two months into his deployment in Afghanistan as part of the United Nations-mandated International Security Assistance Force, he explained the meaning of true commitment.

On the chalky brown parchment paper, the self-professed graduate from the School of Hard Knocks wrote a fable about a chicken and a pig: For a simple breakfast of ham and eggs, the chicken makes a contribution but the pig has to make a commitment.

He ended off by telling me about the kind of commitment the pig has to offer and how this could be applied to life as well — by giving it your all.

This had a profound impact on me for two reasons. Firstly, my father was never one to encourage his children. An apathetic man, he adopted a tough love approach to parenting, disciplining us whenever we made mistakes.

Corporal punishment was the dessert commonly served after dinner. So him penning a letter to me was unusual, although it was a heartwarming surprise.

Secondly, just a week before receiving the letter, my form teacher gave me an ultimatum to either pull my grades up or retain in Secondary Three.

I had been consistently failing most of my subjects; my grades were mediocre at best.

Grappling with a video game addiction, I explored the virtual lands of the World of Warcraft from 10pm to 5am on most days. Consequently, most of my time in school was spent sleeping.

The pig gives its all to become that breakfast ham, it has nothing more to give.

It gives it all its got. I knew my purpose was not in the lack of commitment that I was displaying. “If you want to take the island, burn the boats,” goes the quote from motivational speaker Tony Robbins. And he was absolutely right.

Just like how the ancient Greeks would burn their boats upon landing on the enemy’s shore to infuse themselves with the spirit of commitment with no fallback, I too decided to commit myself to the daily grind, armed with a newfound never-say-die attitude to pull up my grades.

I burnt my “boat” by uninstalling all the games on my computer and gave myself the goal of getting promoted to Secondary Four.

I also started studying regularly, gradually increasing my attention span from only 20 minutes to about three hours.

To instil myself with a sense of discipline, I would either hit the gym or run around my neighbourhood daily.

That was when things began to change for the better.

From being frustrated with my lack of direction in life, I found something to work toward. From being last in class, I slowly inched my way up, eventually topping my class for the final examination of Secondary Three.

Apart from helping me get promoted to Secondary Four and eventually getting into Jurong Junior College, this change in mentality spurred me further to do well for the GCE A-Levels, nabbing me a spot in the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information.

My father’s words still resonate with me even today, and whenever I feel unmotivated, I take out his letter to remind myself to be like the pig.

No longer do I settle for mediocrity. Just like the Greeks, the pursuit of excellence is no longer a choice, it is the only option.

A few days ago, I received a call from my mother informing me that my 12-year-old brother received a similar ultimatum from his teacher.

Just like how my father taught me, I too will have a lesson to teach him when I get home this weekend. One that teaches him to go the full distance in committing to something, instead of merely making a one-time contribution. But first, I’ll buy some ham.

A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Nanyang Chronicle on April 4, 2016, with the headline ‘To give my all, I burnt my boats’. Print Edition