Passion or Paycheck?

Writer Ashley Tay shares her thoughts on quarter-life crisis, a period where emerging adults struggle to make big decisions in life.

By Ashley Tay

GRAPHIC: KALAI MAHENDRAN

It was an ordinary Tuesday — we were chowing down fast food in between classes and having a chat about the progress of our Final Year Projects. A close friend of mine then steered the conversation in another direction.

“So… what do you intend to do after graduating?” she trailed off.

I can’t deny that I didn’t see this coming. After all, it wasn’t the first time had someone asked me the same question.

“Have you applied for any jobs yet?”

“What sector are you looking at?”

“Do you intend to take a gap year?”

“Are you intending to further your studies?”

Questions like these have been thrown at me so frequently; I felt like I’ve heard all the permutations of how they can be rephrased. Ultimately, people are just curious to know if you have a direction for the future.

Such are the woes of a graduating student. Not only do we worry about completing our Final Year Projects and ensuring that we do well academically, we are also expected to start thinking hard about what we’re going to do once school life officially ends.

As for myself, I’m one of many clueless students with a giant question mark floating above my head.

The quarter-life crisis, which describes a period where emerging adults struggle to make big decisions in life, seems to be striking me and my peers now.

As part of their Final Year Project campaign entitled “The Next Stop”, four Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information final-year students surveyed 390 university and polytechnic students and revealed the three biggest issues they struggled with:

Dealing with finances

From managing credit card bills to understanding how to use our various CPF accounts, this is definitely an aspect that strikes fear in me and many others. How do we go about managing our personal finances when our parents have been doing it for most of us all along?

Getting on the right career path

The strategic importance of making the right decision for our first careers weighs heavily on our shoulders. This is especially so when career choices could either reap great benefits or result in unwanted repercussions — our future jobs would affect our ability to repay student loans and provide for our families.

Passion or paycheck

We all want to do what we love but to quote Madonna, “we live in a material world”. There is still a need to earn enough to afford basic necessities, even more so for those looking to lead luxurious lifestyles. That said, no one wants to be stuck in a dead-end job doing something they’re not passionate about. Graduating students have to make the tough decision between doing something they love (but getting paid less) or doing something they might have no passion for (but getting paid more).

Out of these three major concerns, the one I struggled most with was the last. Isn’t it a no-brainer that if we had it our way, most of us would have chosen to do something we love?

For me, it is my passion in making handcrafted goods (which took the form of lettering and designing blank canvas bags) and impacting the lives of others by going on mission trips overseas to help the less fortunate, that inspired me to start my own social enterprise one day.

But what really stopped me from pursuing that route was the practicality of it all. I had no capital for a startup and there were many other concerns I was bogged down with student loans and providing for my family. Call me idealistic, but was there an option that allowed me to get the best of both worlds?

I spoke to several seniors who were previously caught in the same predicament. Across the board, it seemed that the aspect of practicality usually outweighed passion. Although some do get lucky and are able to find jobs that fulfill their passions, I know that with no capital, there was no way I could do it.

I finally decided to speak to a trusted mentor about it.

In response, she said matter-of-factly: “That’s reality, unfortunately.”

Instead of sugarcoating her words and offering me reassurance that such a job existed, she instead asked me a single question — “Why do we work?”

The question sounded straightforward and silly at first.

“Of course we work to earn a living! To feed ourselves, clothe ourselves and put a roof over our heads,” I answered indignantly.

But I later realised that there was no right answer to such a seemingly easy question. Some work for recognition, others for the money, and some simply because they enjoy it.

There are a variety of reasons as to why we work and these reasons are unique to each individual. But answering that question has really challenged my perspective about a job. If I were honest with myself, I would want to work knowing that there is a purpose behind the work that I do, that someone down the line would benefit from it, even if the difference might not be great. That is my passion; that is what brings me great joy.

Perhaps the reason why she asked me this was to illustrate that although passion is important, it is also fleeting.

We might enjoy baking at one moment, and we might enjoy sailing the next. Our passions don’t last forever and there is always a possibility that they might fizzle out. But what stands the test of time and tide is not so much liking the work we do, but our true motivation and purpose behind working.

After much contemplation and reflection, it’s time for me to make my first move into the unknown and uncharted. Knowing very well that what motivates me would be my passion to serve others before myself, I have made my first bold move into the public sector — into the tourism industry.

And although I know that some may question if the work I do will bear significant impact on the lives of Singaporeans, I do know that at least it’s a small step towards that passion.